18 [Just Before]

Another figure at the mic-stand… Ahhh! Short, squat, stout, four-feet-tall, bulbous head protruding out of a floor-length… another tunic? Another glow… orange? We have hundreds of Muslim students, but not seen this style before…

He’s holding some grapefruit-sized orb up to his face… some kind of hookah or incense thingy next to his face? Oh, Dios mio, it’s smoking… no smoking on campus! Can’t see his face…?

He began to speak… slow, clear and audible, but a foot from the microphone.

“Why mankind no get contact con alien species, ya?”

What? Foreign exchange student… “Err, that is a bit off-topic…”

“No. Hypothesis please.”

Drake Equation stuff is my hobby, and I’m getting fired anyway…  “OK… There are many theories trying to answer the ‘Fermi Paradox’, the ‘SETI Dilemma’, the ‘Great ET Silence’. It’s the classic ‘if millions of races are out there, why no contact?’ question. Hundreds of answers offered, both academically and in speculative fiction… well, we used to call it Sci-fi… like the ‘Zoo Hypothesis’, that we have to clear some test or hurdle before deemed worthy, but until then, we’re to be watched and not interfered with, like creatures in a zoo. Star Trek’s ‘Prime Directive’ made inter-stellar warp travel the water-mark for first contact. Dr. Brin adds the idea that perilous thresholds exists for all species, and we wouldn’t be admitted to the Galactic club until we survive some profound test, and nobody knows what that test may look like…”

“Others say we’re the product of extra-terrestrial seeding or breeding, so our parents should or could come back soon from where-ever, or they’re out there watching. Clarke fictionally blended the two ideas, having a monolith buried in moon’s Tycos crater until we were smart enough to find it and dig it up and set off the nursery alarm, announcing to mommy and daddy that we’ve jumped the play-pen and went visiting our first astral neighbor.”

“Scott, Spaihts and Lindeloft posted that our alien parents left stellar maps in paleontologic sites, and we’re supposed to go looking in the solar system, but their movie wasn’t encouraging of an expedition’s chances of success…”

“Some have written that the Fermi Paradox may exist because the wide variety of extra-terrestrial life out there have voted us out of the club, probably because they’ve seen our terrible movies.” I chuckled…

Abruptly, the short fellow holding the smoking orb to his face, spoke, “… Doctor, axis Fermi Paradox to your species viability hypothesis.”

I got it. It’s a rare day I can tell the truth. “Well, telling the truth in academia got me in trouble.” Chuckle… you have no idea… “… as self-absorbed and dangerous the human species is right now, I cannot imagine any sentient, extra-terrestrial race that would want to interact with us.”

The squat little man was gone. The room was now empty, just residual whisps of smoke and glow.

Did I just have another ‘close encounter of the third kind’? Did I scare him away as well?

First contact, and I goofed it all up.

No matter. The room is as empty as my soul right now.

The Last Lecture. It’s over… finally over. That treasured academic impartation of a life-long journey for truth and insight, poof.

To the empty room, speaking for a soon-empty career, I intoned, “Thanks, ya’ll. You know, the ‘Last Lecture’ of a Professor is truly a special moment. My Last Lecture is now complete. So long, and thanks for all the fish!”

The only applause was the roar of the bounding heart-beats in my ears. Eclipsed by the crushing self-hatred I now felt, I did as every experienced professor learns to do with practiced grace; quickly unplug the laptop, gather the few notes, look up and nod, then head to the office, alone… to sulk, pack my things and figure out how I’m going to pay the bills after the last University check arrives.

Stepping out of the lecture hall, I look up and down the corridor. So, where did those… um, unique… students go?

Nowhere to be seen. Darn… come back! Beam me up! Alien abduction would be most welcome at this point.

crisbaj

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‘The Last Last Lecture’ is copyright ©2018-2021 by crisbaj. All rights reserved. No reproductions, reprinting or reposting without express permission of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Contact:  http://www.crisbaj.com

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